I found the page OK. Just like it’s never been hard to find a cabin in the woods. It’s only after you find the cabin that the haunting begins.
First it was the nondescript page that didn’t seem as grandiose as it should be for such a momentous update. A few lines of instruction, Terse, alien—perhaps not alien, but nonetheless other worldly.
And like a cryptic mystery puzzle, the Windows RT and regular Windows (names are important in magic, and when you call one thing Windows RT the other thing needs a more descriptive name to differentiate it from its sibling …. All Windows versions now need surnames to be invoked).
And then there was the store. Search the store, but neither of my devices could find the Windows 8.1 Update. It was like wandering the Winchester Mystery House. Angry Birds squawked at the top of steps to nowhere, but Windows update lurked out of sight, ready to jump out perhaps—shy perhaps, perhaps just not yet able to burst through to our reality.
The “from the Windows Store” link did nothing. Nothing. A crystal ball full of only ambient light. But I thought I could hear my Surface laughing manically with each attempt. A telepathic connection that only I could hear. Only me—me and perhaps others across the world trying to connect to this shared experience, this virtual cabin in the woods that so wantonly ensnared us.
After hours of struggling with the hidden demons I gave up. I needed rest. I felt like my very soul had been torn asunder.
The next morning I awoke. A mysterious new phrase had been added to the instructions:
Some unnamed Shaman had been at work while I slept. The incantation worked immediately. I clicked the update button. Downloading of Windows 8.1 update began. Wizards appeared. Questions were answered. My Surface went to sleep, and after restless moments, awoke reborn.
And then today I heard the news. I was lucky. My surface still worked. For many, however, the ordeal was ill-fated. Windows 8.1 had frightened many a Surface into freezing, scared not just half way to death but all the way. Recovery required placing a new soul into the machine.
When you replace a soul who knows what you will receive— the world opens to uncertainties no one should be asked to face.
But that is a worry for another day. My search is over. My devices are enchanted with Windows 8.1. I survived. My devices survived. Now it is time to explore, or tile, depending on your choice of metaphor.